MAINE RAMBLINGS - A Weekend Visiting the Past

MAINE RAMBLINGS

It was a much more emotional weekend than I had anticipated. I went up for the weekend because one of my god daughters was celebrating her marriage. Not a wedding – that had happened a year ago, with only about six people in attendance, on a sailboat. This was the celebration of that event one year later, to which around 130 people were invited. Because it “wasn’t a wedding,” only about 80 of the best and the brightest showed up.

Steps toward feeling older when you don’t have children of your own to measure your life against – when your god children get married. (As I write this, I am on a plane with a screaming child – and I don’t mean a child who is crying but one whose every utterance is loudly proclaimed and whose parents seem unable or unwilling to modulate his volume. I don’t quite have the courage to tell them that if they think this is cute, or Acceptable, they are wrong. I’d buy the kid a beer if I could be sure he’d drink it.)

As I was saying (and that kid’s screaming cuts through the noise cancelling headphones with music playing) before I was distracted, thinking about growing older – events like this do it. The young lady in question is the daughter of my oldest friend in the world. Not that he is much older than I, but he has been a close friend of mine longer than anyone else. I don’t know where I rank in his universe of friendships, but in mine, he is right up there in the top two. (Now to be perfectly fair, two others who would be up there have already died, leaving the field a little thinner.) He has sort of drifted out of my life in recent years and one reason for the trip, besides celebrating the wedding and meeting the groom (technically the party was the day before the one year anniversary, so I think we still could say “groom.” I’m not exactly sure that the etiquette is on that point.) was the chance to connect with my friend.

I also got to see the rest of the family. Another of his daughters from his first marriage is also my god daughter, I performed the wedding ceremony when his oldest daughter got married, and the bride’s three brothers (all four from his second marriage) are extraordinary young men. One is married and the other two will be serious catches when they plunge. My friend has married for a third time, and brought his current wife with him to the celebration. I didn’t really get a chance to talk with her so I have no opinion. I adore his first two wives.

In my life, my friend and his families have all been very important to me in various ways and at various times, and from what they say, I guess have been important to them as well. Seeing them all so grown up and happy (not without problems, hey, we all have  - it problems and sorrows and areas of our lives that are less than we might wish) and extraordinary people who are continuing to grow and grow well – it was a very special time, Friday night and Saturday and then again on Sunday, as many of us gathered to help strike the party decorations and clean the lodge and return it to rustic normalcy.

That was one stimulus to emotion and looking back and feeling extraordinarily lucky about the people who have come into my life.

On Saturday morning, I drove from Searsport (I’m not going to help you, you’re just going to have to look at a map) to Bar Harbor Maine. My best friend in all the world, who died around 11 years ago, his family had a summer house in Bar Harbor. A BIG house, with MANY bedrooms. I didn’t go as a child – not sure why – but later I was a frequent visitor, and when his parents divorced, his mother kept the garage (something like a four car garage) and built a lovely apartment above it and a nice one room apartment on the ground floor, which I frequently occupied. His mother and I became good friends in our own right, and I would pop up and visit whether he was around or not. I loved those visits and the people I met. A tradition arose that on the last morning of my time in Maine, my farewell breakfast would be cold lobster, English muffin with lots of melted butter, champagne, and often enough, if my timing was right, blueberries. THAT, in mine humble opinion, is breakfast.

I hadn’t been to Bar Harbor in many years. My friend died when I was in Nigeria, and his mother has moved to be with her other son in California. She is in her late 80’s – sound mind, a body that does not cooperate as she would wish, and often enough she is annoyed with God that she is still her. I wanted to be able to tell her that I had visited Bar Harbor and tell her what it is like- it will upset her, I know, but a little emotion is good for people of any age. Keeps the blood flowing. So I drove from Searsport (found it yet?) and paid my visit.

Bar Harbor is even more a tourist attraction and there are many more motels and hotels and places for visitors to stay than I remember. The old quaint stores have been “upgraded” and the signs are all “faux” old style – a la Hamptons at its worst. Crowded, it’s not bad and not depressing even, but it isn’t what it was. I didn’t expect that it would be, but as I browsed the streets, I missed what I had known. Same thing happened in Princeton – the very popular town that everyone knows now is not what I grew up with, and there is no way it could be, or even should be. But I miss it.

On the way back, I passed Blue Hill, Maine. Now I belong to a group called the Blue Hill Troupe. I first encountered them when I was singing with the Light Opera of Manhattan in the early 70’s, and one night someone said the house had been virtually bought out by the Blue Hill Troupe. (It was not a large theatre – a moderate girl scout troop could have filled the house. Still, a sell out is a sell out.) When doing Gilbert and Sullivan, one is used to members of the audience mouthing words of songs as you sing. This night, the whole audience mouthed every word – dialogue and songs. It was an evening to remember.

The Blue Hill Troupe was founded in 1927 in – wait for it – Blue Hill, Maine, and very quickly moved its base of operations to New York. Today they do two shows a year – a more contemporary musical in the Fall and a Gilbert and Sullivan in the Spring. Each year they adopt one charity, and all the money they raise during the year (from the shows and program ads and dances and whatever they can think of and pull off) goes to this charity. There are some VERY good singers in this group and some REALLY good tech people, so the production standards are always very high. I’ve only been a member for a couple of years, and I don’t do much with them, but it’s a good group.

So instead of passing Blue Hill, I turned down the road, went to the town, parked and walked out on a dock and quietly sang “Hail Poetry” (from the Pirates of Penzance, for those of you who are not as up on you G&S as you should be) which is the anthem of the Blue Hill Troupe. No one will care, but it was one of those things one does. At least this one.

Since the theme for this wandering started out as why this was an unexpectedly emotional weekend, I will not spend a lot of time swelling on the setting up of the party or the party or the taking down of the party. The Bar Harbor visit produced its own emotions and recollections, and the grey rainy day that was Sunday served only to enhance the mood – whatever mood I was in at any given moment.

But my trip down the lane of old memories was not over. I had looked at a map (I have learned over the years that my mother was right when she complained about my lack of geographical knowledge and so I am not ashamed to resort to maps on a regular basis) and discovered that Belfast and Camden (where my god daughter lives and where the party was – and if you have not found Searsport, I have just given you two nice hints) are not far from Weld, Maine. Now Weld is a tiny little speck on the map, found by first finding Rumford and then circling around. Or perhaps finding Lake Webb and circling around.

But Weld is where Camp Kawanhee was, a summer camp for boys where I spent three extraordinary years. I hadn’t thought about the spot for years, and I didn’t even know if it was still in existence. So – Google, of course, what else. And sonofagun, it is still running. In fact, last year they celebrated their 90^th year and had a big alumni reunion. The pictures of the place look a lot like the place I remember – and I found myself waxing unusually nostalgic. So, since my flight to Orlando was not until 5:55 in the afternoon, off I went in the grey and rain and drove 2 ½ hours to Weld. As I drew closer, the rain stopped and the sun came out (thank you, God) and I revisited scenes of my youth.

There are signs that say please sign in at the office, so I did, and met the camp director, who chatted with me for a while (I suspect both visiting and assuring himself that I was not a kidnapper or worse) and we talked about the camp. One of the innovations is a museum, in which I found a book about camp history that HAD A PICTURE OF ME! Talk about validation! I told him some stories and bits he hadn’t known, and then I was free to just wander the camp. I was stopped twice by counselors or staff – very politely and very friendly, but also making sure I had not just strolled in, which impressed me. I saw no one with an earbud plugged into a head. I saw no iPod or Pad or gaming device of any kind, just lots of boy running and playing and interacting and exuding high energy and if they weren’t having a lot of fun, they are developing an extraordinary crop of young actors up there.

New lodges have been added. The new lodges when I was there are now old. The dining hall burned down and was rebuilt. They have a rock climbing wall and they reach scuba, neither of which existed in “my day.”  But many of the activities and the trips and the spirit of the place is the same. Memories of names and events and people kept bubbling up, and while the place was in some ways different, unlike Princeton or Bar Harbor, I don’t miss it. Kawanhee makes me wish I had a son to send (unlike the child who is in his second hour of annoying everyone within earshot. And whose screams cut through the noise cancelling headphones playing music like a hot knife through soft butter. Sleeping is NOT an option on this trip. By the way, for future reference – Allegiant Air provides nothing for free. Including the seat. If you want a reserved seat, you pay for it. If not, you get assigned a seat after everyone with reserved seats is seated. You can also buy priority seating – and they serve nothing for free. Everything is for sale, including bottled water. I have not been to the toilets to see if there is a coin slot on the door, or what the charge is for toilet paper. I’m scared to go. So to speak.)

And then I drove another 2 ½ hours back to the airport, to turn in the rental car and start the trek to Orlando. Which I do NOT expect to be an emotional experience, especially since I was there only a coupe of weeks ago.

I don’t mean it morbidly, but I find myself saying goodbye to places. Last time I was in Rome, last time I was in London, I consciously went out of my way to visit some of my favorite places, with a sense that I might not ever see them again. Certainly that was in my mind this weekend as well. Now I am NOT suffering from a terminal disease that I have been keeping secret, I actually feel very good – I’ve been going to the gym regularly and walking more and trying to watch what I eat (I’ll have you know I passed up a chocolate cupcake with mint frosting this weekend. OK – I passed it up on the second day, having had one the day before. But I knew what I was passing up, which ought to get me even more credit, no?) I’m trying. So this feeling of goodbye is not related to anything (except perhaps a highly developed sense of melodrama).

I apologize if this is not my usual chipper, laugh-dotted reflection, but it wasn’t that kind of a weekend. Not sad – but rich. With the exception of the screaming child on the airplane. If a child cannot behave in public, don’t take him out until he can. And if the parents can’t teach him, just shoot them all.

Whoo – got THAT off my chest! And I don’t want to hear any more complaining about not writing in my blog more often. I’m gonna try. That’s all I can promise.

One last thing. If I had several lives to live, I would definitely live at least one of them in Maine. I truly love that place – both for the memories, but as much for the people who are there, and for what it is. The lobsters don’t hurt either. ($4.19 a pound!)

A CONDENSED REFLECTION ON 2 WEEKS IN LOUISIANA

From January 16 to January 31, I was in Ruston, Louisiana, at the Louisiana Center for the Blind. I was a guest student, taking courses in Home Management, Cane Travel, shop, Braille, and computers, all wearing sleep shades. I wore the shades a minimum of nine hours a day and there were some days the darkness went as long as 13 hours.

On this blog there is a daily journal of what I did during the two weeks. But for those with less time, or less interest (and I completely understand – what is fascinating to one is not necessarily compelling for another) this is a shorter version, focusing more on what I learned and spending less time on the process by which I learned it. Most of the pictures are in the other blog item, but you can skim through that if you want to see the pictures.

The hardest question for me to answer is, “Why did you do this?” When I first learned of the existence of the several centers around the U.S. that do this kind of work, and that I would be welcome as a guest, I felt it was something I needed to do, both professionally, as Chairman of the Xavier Society for the Blind, but also personally, to share at least in a very little some experience of what our clients (and some of my friends) do as a blind person. Now that I have done it, I am still reflecting and processing the experience, so this little essay may or may not adequately answer the question for you. Heck, it may not answer it for me yet either.

Note – “blind” covers a range of visual conditions, from being able to see nothing to being able to see light and shadows to being able to make out more distinct images in a very small area of what should be a range of vision. In fact, many of the students at the LCB have some sight, but all wear shades when undergoing training and attending classes.

Another note – shades. I mean sleep shades, large black covering for the eyes, originally developed by the military. They are lined with foam, so they rest away from the eyes – you can open your eyes when in the shades – but completely blocking out light, so you can sleep. They are very useful for training purposes, and blind organizations and individuals use them a lot. They have the added advantage of emphasizing that the person coming toward you is not using their eyes. Unbelievably (to me, at least) there are many people who do not realize that a long white cane means someone is blind. They are fairly comfortable, but my eyebrows itched and it was difficult to scratch anything around the eye. You want the shades tight enough to keep out the light, but not so tight that they compress your sinuses or crunch your ears. I know, sounds funny but when you’re wearing these things nine hours or more at a pop, this gets to be relatively serious.

I flew down and was met at the airport, waited with the driver for two others to come in on another flight (a new student and the director of the LCB) and we drove to Ruston, about 40 minutes away. Stopped for pizza, and I was taken to my apartment. No roommate, so I unpacked, ate some pizza (and saved the rest for breakfast) and slept. The next day I took the school bus in, was given my shades and cane, my stylus and slate (for writing Braille – more on those later) and my class schedule. I was walked to my first class, Home Management and the adventure was off.

Since this is not a day to day account, I’m going to talk about each of the areas of training. Home Management is cooking, but also includes budgeting, cleaning, polishing shoes and tying a necktie, vacuuming but also learning how to take a vacuum apart and put on a new belt. There is a schedule of foods everyone needs to cook, including home made noodles, pastries, using a blender, a crock pot – it’s a long list. Each student must prepare a lunch for 8 (by invitation only) and lunch for 40, which everyone enjoys. Each of those exercises has a budget which influences your menu planning.

Ms. Merilynn runs one of the Home Management kitchens

You have to learn the kitchen, how to use the different appliances, how food items are kept and stored (salt is in the peanut butter jar, and the honey bear holds virgin olive oil – I never did learn where they keep the honey). Mistakes happen – one young man used whole wheat flour instead of confectioners sugar for his frosting for a red velvet cake. He only used one cup out of four – he had poured three before he ran out – and the resulting frosting wasn’t bad. But it was also not according to the recipe.

I did bacon and eggs my first morning, biscuits, brownies, a beef stew, fried pickles. I learned how to sew a button (remember all of this is blind, and I now can thread a needle more easily with my eyes closed than ever I did with them open) and tie a Windsor knot (on those rare occasions when I do wear a tie, it’s a simple 4-in-hand knot). I learned how to hand write a check, use a signature form and write on a blank page. Some students who were blind from birth never learned to write and so have to be taught the shapes of the letters by touch.

Cleaning is also part of the process, and includes dusting, bathroom cleaning, laundry and each apartment is regularly inspected and hints given about taking care of the place better. Each student lives in an apartment – some singly, some with a roommate – and students take care of their own space, their own laundry, their own shopping and cooking. The goal is confident independence, and everything is geared toward that.

Probably the most “dramatic” of the classes is shop, because for many it is so removed from anything they have done, and because a tremendous amount of responsibility is placed on the student. There is only one “specialized” tool, and that is the click ruler. Every other tool in the shop, whether hand tool or power tool, is unmodified, and is exactly the same as you would find in any woodworking shop. Safety guards are not removed, as they often are in other places, and safety with tools is a constant lesson. Whenever a major power tool is to be used, the student prepares and when ready to cut, calls out and is approved by one of the instructors, who either visually or manually checks the safety.

Part of the program teaches students to deal with basic plumbing and electrical problems

The student is given a series of arithmetic questions, and then is taught to use the click ruler. When that has been mastered, the student has to score a piece of wood to create a checkerboard pattern, mark the intersections, and then drill a hole at each intersection. Since a blind carpenter cannot see a drawn line, the scratch-all becomes his (or her) pencil. Another series of exercises introduces the student to other tools and in the course of two assigned projects, the student will have learned to confidently use every tool in the shop.

At that point the second instructor steps in and walks them through selecting and designing their final project. It can be a mantel clock, a grandfather clock, a chest of drawers, a chair – the student picks the project, designs it and when the design is complete, then builds it. The process takes anywhere from 3 to 5 months. The students pays 80% of a $200 price and the full cost of anything above $200. That gives the student a sense of ownership and responsibility. If a piece is cut long, it can be recut to fit and only a little wood is wasted. If the wood is cut short, it is wasted (and charged) unless it can be used somewhere else in the project. Students take great pride in their projects and they work hard at it. They learn precision, responsibility, and the work they turn out is very professional.

Cane travel is a foundational course because that’s how the blind move. In the first week or two, depending on a student’s experience and skill, he or she is cleared to travel, and no longer is allowed to take the bus back and forth to the Center. They have to walk, and learn to deal with carrying loads, with bad weather, with walking at different times of the day. Basic techniques are taught and re-enforced and students are given routes to walk. Other exercises include a drop (where the student and usually a teacher both wearing shades are dropped by car at an unknown location, and forced to find their way back to the center). Checkerboard is another exercise, where a group of students go out as a group, and at each corner a different person chooses the direction. At a set time, the teacher selects one to start the way home and at each corner, the teacher picks another student to be the guide.

If the traffic is on my left, then I am NOT lost. 

As I went through the courses, I heard some of the same themes being repeated. Don’t overthink this was one of them. True in shop, true in cane travel, true in the kitchen, true when trying to read a line of Braille. Keep up the pace – true in the Braille room, true when walking with a cane. Keep your focus – in the kitchen, in the shop, when outside walking. Because these are lessons for life, not just for cane travel or cooking. These are things we all need to do, to know, to practice in our lives, and true whether blind or sighted.

One dimension I had not considered is the prevalence of diabetes as an illness among the blind. I don’t know how widespread that is, but certainly in the kitchen, great care is taken to include recipes with Splenda, and teaching students how to use Splenda in cooking. There are regular sessions with a nutritionist for those who need it. And students look out for one another – one wanting to try a piece of cake that a friend had made was refused “because there is too much sugar in it for you.”

When I was given my stylus and slate, I wondered, since I have had only a little practice reading Braille with my eyes, and none using my fingers and I wondered how much I could learn in only two weeks. I found I learned the alphabet quickly, and started with writing rather than reading. Using a stylus, you write backwards, since you are punching holes into a page which are read from the other side. But I quickly got the hang of it, and found I could churn out a fair amount of correct Braille in a fairly short period of time. How I was only using the alphabet. There are also contractions, and as you get more experienced, there are more contractions, which make it possible to read Braille at over 500 words a minute. That is a very fast Braille reader but not terribly unusual. For instance, a letter standing alone represents a word. “b” = “but.” C- can. D – do and so on. “And” is all six dots raised. There are many contractions and combinations and level two Braille is the ability to read a much more sophisticated combination. There is also a level three but it is used almost exclusively for personal note-taking and many fluent Braille readers don’t use level three Braille. (Brl = Braille; bl – blind; cld = could)

The machine on the desk is my Braille writer

I also learned to use the Braille writer, a Perkins like the ones we have back at the XSB. That too came fairly quickly, and in my last class I filled two pages of material. Reading was more difficult – not that I did not know the letters but my fingers found them hard to distinguish. You read with both hands at once, emphasizing the left on the left side of the page and the right on the right. I am right-handed, and so my left hand is actually better at reading than the right. The teacher constantly says not to “scrub,” ie move your fingers up and down to try and sense the pattern but rather to move straight across the line, keeping up the pace, repeating as necessary. It comes very slowly, but it is coming.

The computer class for me turned more into a survey of what’s available. I discovered that I do need to look at the keyboard if only every now and then, to help keep oriented. I can type really fast and really accurately but every now I then I need to check. Not being able to check does me in. I did pass the basic levels of typing to start working on the actual programs, but not the first time. Nor the second. Enough said.

Everything on the computer is sound re-enforced, from having a program echo your letters or your words, reading the material on a screen, whether something you have written or something you get from another source, like the Internet. No matter how fast the little voice reads – and it can read so fast I can’t understand it, although they say I would with practice – it is still slower than my reading it with my eyes. Another lesson – patience. There are times you stand or sit and wait. In the kitchen I was always running late, everything took more time. Walking takes more time. Reading and writing take more time.

Most of the faculty are also blind.

But it was a fascinating survey, playing with the programs I had been hearing about. The technology is changing almost daily, and blind users are become more and more proficient at using it to increase their access to the internet, to jobs and to take part in all the activities of the world.

My biggest post-event reflection is that it’s not extraordinary. Blind people are being helped to realize that they can do almost anything a sighted person can, and they use doing everyday activities as the platform to re-enforce that. They develop basic skills for everyday living – it’s a program many sighted people should undergo – and they “graduate” with both skills and a personal confidence founded on skill and experience. 

A Diary - Two Weeks at the Louisiana Center for the Blind

From January 16 until January 31, I was at the Louisiana Center for the Blind in Ruston, in the northern part of the state. The following is a detailed look at what I did and thought during those days. There is a much shorter condensed version for those who aren’t THAT interested in the minutia of my experience.

January 16 – Day One

Leaving New York. I had the 11 PM Mass at St. Malachy’s on Saturday night before so between getting home and procrastinating, I got around 3 hours sleep. I was up and ready for the Super Shuttle. Usually they call just before they arrive – this guy pulls up in front of a NY apartment building and honks his horn. At 6:50 on a Sunday morning. Pulls up in front of a snow bank and waits for me to lug my suitcase across the frozen tundra – these are the moment when I regret including the tip in the initial payment.

Only 4 of us going to the airport on this lonely Sunday morning, and I was the last one picked up, For reasons I don’t understand the driver decided to go downtown and go across the 59^th street bridge and then wander through back streets. We got there – curbside check in – security took a little extra time, they had seen something inside my computer bag and couldn’t figure out what it was. A hand inspection and two screenings later, we discovered it was a lock, one of those small combination locks you use on suitcases.

I had bought a day pass for the Sky Lounge – I belong to a group that as part of the services reimburses you for up to 12 such day pass adventures each year, so I thought I would take advantage of it. Snacks and tv, comfortable chairs and free wifi – booze if you wanted it at 8 in the morning. Nice way to kill a couple of hours and I was steps away from the gate

Of course during this time I kept doing the – “How would this be different if I were blind?” routine, and while I would certainly need directions, and I would have to allow for extra time in some cases, not a lot different, once I learned how to get around. I know this from being with blind friends who navigate through airports and down city streets and who boldly go into places they’ve never been before.

The flight was gentle – a little over 2 hours, but with my noise cancelling earphones and a Kindle, I am ready for almost anything. Sat next to a woman and her daughter from Australia – her husband and the other twin 10-year old were in the seat in front of us – they are spending 5 weeks just touring the U.S. They figured the girls were old enough and so they were exploring.

We landed in Memphis and I found the SkyLounge – very nice, one room with a fireplace and a tv dedicated to the play off game, but lots of seating, a special computer area with cubicles and connection points, a nice bar and snacks but they also had a cauldron of creamy tomato soup that was very welcome. Passed some time, and then onto a smaller plane for the flight to Monroe. They called one woman out of the plane by name, and then asked for a volunteer to give up their seat – they needed to adjust weight for the flight – for a $300 travel voucher and arrangements for a flight that would get them into Reston later (about 9 PM) and a meal voucher and 1,000 travel miles. One woman volunteered then changed her mind – another finally took the offer. The woman who changed her mind was right in front of me, and I heard her asking the attendant about the woman who had been called off. Since they were trying to lighten the plane, she wondered if that woman had been called off because she was too fat. The attendant explained she was an employee who had been flying stand-by and so was the first to be taken off. Chuckle.

Got into a conversation with a young Indian man who wanted to ask about free will and God’s role in our lives. What is it about wearing the Roman collar that brings this out in people? At the Lambs Club on Friday I got into several conversations like that – now not all the participants were entirely sober, so I cannot credit the Roman collar with all the influence. Drink does the same thing, makes people start to ask questions about life and death and infinity and stuff like that.

Pouring rain when we landed. As we passed by the waiting area I saw a crowd of people and a tv camera – wondered what THAT was about. Got my bag – so far no one waving a sign saying “Sheehan” and no one carrying a white cane, so I wandered back into the waiting area – there were chairs, and they had the Jets game on, so it seemed the logical place to wait. After a bit a young man did ask if I were Father Sheehan, and introduced himself. Eric Warden, and he was also waiting to collect Pam Allen, the Director of the LCB (the Louisiana Center for the Blind, henceforth to be known by the initials or whatever other nicknames the students may share with me.) and another student (from here on I will either not use names of students or I will make up something) who is here for the 9 month course.

Their plane was delayed, so we chatted, had an extended conversation with a Baptist gentleman who told a Baptist joke and pretty much his life history and shared his views on a whole lot of political and economic philosophies. And the camera crew waited. There was young lady with a small crown on her head and a sash proclaiming her “Little Miss Monroe” and blue jeans. Local style. There were also several other young ladies (and I do mean young) with bouquets of flowers. Seems Miss Louisiana was on that plane, returning from the Miss America contest. Nothing like hobbing and nobbing with celebrities. And the rain continued. Apparently it had been raining all day long.

The plane arrived around 90 minutes after my own. There was the expected fuss and filming and hugging and interviews – luggage collection – and the student’s bag didn’t come, so we wandered over to the counter and did the lost luggage routine. If the bag shows up on the next flight, they don’t send it over to you (this is American Airlines) they ship it to you Fedex overnight – so the bag that comes in on Sunday night you receive on Tuesday. Let’s hear it for customer service. The folks I was with decided that they would call, and if the bag were on the flight, Eric would drive back and collect it.

So off we went. I am watching Pam and the student carefully as they use their canes. He has some sight, and Pam knows the airport – she has lived here for some 15 years or so and does a fair amount of travel – but it’s interesting to see how they react. It seems a lot of it is reacting – you walk in a direction and with your cane encounter an obstacle, analyze what it is and move around it.

On the ride to Ruston I discovered that I had been given incorrect information (friend with a wicked sense of humor?) They do NOT put on the sleep shades before you reach town. Makes settling in a little easier. We did stop and get pizza en route. Still raining. Dropped off the student and I found my residence is across the street. I’m a duplex, living room and kitchen on the ground floor and my bedroom and bathroom up one flight. There are three other bedrooms in the house but the doors are locked. There’s a full kitchen and fridge but no food, so shopping is definitely going to be in order. No hangers in the closet either. But very nice, albeit a tad sparse. I had some pizza – set up the computer and found there is no wireless connection. Sigh. I could have been REALLY happy with a wireless connection. Janette came over to introduce herself and see that everything is ok. She is the house manager – the LCB has several housing complexes and she runs them.  Unpacked and settled and went to bed.

Monday, January 17 – Martin Luther King Holiday  Not for us, regular school schedule. Up and ate the remaining pizza – I tried warming it in the oven, which was nice, hot breakfast the first day of school – but managed to set off the smoke alarm. No one came running but it did get my heart pounding. I had brought a small radio, and when I surfed around the dial, I discovered that the strongest signal came from ESPN Radio (I didn’t even know there IS an ESPN radio!) and in second place were religious stations and country and western. I knew I wouldn’t find a news station but I thought I might come across a station with news. Closest I got was a couple of guys reviewing and playing clips from the Golden Globes Awards, where apparently Ricky Gervais made something of a hash of the whole event.

Shower and prayed and off to meet the group that rides the bus. I will not use real names here, for privacy and in case I inadvertently say something bad. Or advertently, for that matter. Interesting group though – in conversation, one woman ran through the birthdays of all the students in chronological order. Yes John, there are no secrets at the LCB.

Bus came – off we went. Many students walking to the school, and I learned that once you walk successfully, you’re no longer allowed to ride the bus. Now remember, this is a 9-month program and usually you are cleared to walk within the first week. The bus is for new students and special cases, like the guy in the wheelchair. At the center, every day starts with a meeting in the library – roll call and announcements. The new student and I were welcomed, plans for those taking part in an MLK march and luncheon were announced, schedule changes later this week – on Thursday classes will run from 1 to 10 PM instead of 8 to 5, and on Friday from 1 to 10 but the morning and evening classes will be reversed. Keeps everyone on their toes. I was taken to meet one of the administrators who fitted me with a cane and sleep shades. On they went, and that was the last light I saw until I got home.

This is the front of the main building

My first class was Home Management – and this will be my schedule until I leave. Met people, and spent the remainder of the time learning to sew on a button, and I want to tell you, I can sew a button and thread a needle easier blind than I can sighted. Some of the little tricks – most useful thing in a sewing basket is a bar magnet, for finding dropped pins or needles and holding them when you need to do something else for a moment. (Adjust thread, find a button, pick your nose – whatever.) I tried a ginger snap fresh from the oven that someone had just baked – did you know that you can add vinegar to milk as a substitute for buttermilk? And when you use Splenda for baking, you need to add baking soda (or is it baking powder? I always get those confused).

Off to my next class, which is navigation – how to use the white cane and get around. Using the cane is step one. Getting around is a long and complex training procedure, which involves learning some street wisdom for survival, and memorizing geography. Learning to think in east and west rather than right and left, for instance, even within the school. The man who is my instructor was not available today nor will he be tomorrow – some out of town people are visiting and he is involved with them. I had heard this in Home Management and so went to the substitute, but then was called over to another instructor (Miss Arlene)  who had been asked to take charge of me for two days. We went around the building – we went across the street to the shop – yikes! Too much information to keep track of. I did not know until well into the lesson that my instructor is blind. The way she commented on my technique (Hey, I have a technique!) and greeted other people and guided me around made me think she might have been sighted. Nope, fully blind.

By mid-day I was tired, and since I don’t normally eat lunch – and was not sure that the effort would expend more energy than the lunch would replenish – I went to the front lobby just to sit, also because I knew I could find my way to the shop (my next class) from the lobby rather than losing a lot of time trying to find it again. Visited with some folks – one of the couples that works there had just lost their cat after a long illness, and people came by to express their sympathy. Met the man I had gone to the baseball game with in Detroit. Went over to the shop (with one of the instructors walking with me – I discovered that a new student is not supposed to go outside alone until they are cleared for basic travel, even across the street to the shop.) and met my shop instructor, who is the guy who drove the bus in the morning. Learned how to measure blind – the only tool in the shop that has been adapted for use by the blind is the measuring device – the technical term is click ruler – everything else, all the power tools, hand tools, are standard use, no modifications have been made for the blind. Those in the 9 month course make three projects – two small ones, and a graduation project that each one designs and builds. I asked what kind of projects they do and was told, “Cabinets, cedar chests, chairs, grandfather clocks, mantel clocks – whatever they want.” No kits or pre-fab, everything is cut from raw lumber.

The ruler is a six inch measured rod, with another six inch rod on the other end, making a rule of one foot, with half inch raised bars along the length, and a ratchet that clicks every 16^th of an inch. When an item to be measured is longer than six inches, there is a drop on the rear end, so you end up measuring the difference between the 12 inches and the length of the board. There are 12” screw-in attachments to the rod section, so you can measure virtually anything. Because it’s a rod you can also easily measure the depth of holes. See? I have a new skill. Things being emphasized in the shop are “Focus” which cuts across the board for all activities and “take your time and solve the problem,” again appropriate for anything you do as a blind person. Hey, anything you do period.

Mr. James and a student working the router. Both are blind.

When I finished that I went back to the center – with several other students, so I was not alone – and found the Braille class. Learned how to use my stylus, and once a basic skill in punching holes in a piece of paper had been acquired (and this is not as easy as it sounds) I started working on letters, Got to the “F” before we ran out of time. Practiced trying to read the letters with my fingers, without any success. Other students were there working on their Braille reading, so I had things being read out loud while I worked, which was rather nice. A young lady is reading an Amy Tan book, and a young man (who, it turns out is a sound engineer and proficient in the program we use at the Xavier Society for the Blind – I see an internship in the future here) is reading a science fiction book with a lot of specially created vocabulary. Fascinating. After an hour, I moved to the computer class, where I discovered the teacher is a client of ours. We visited, and she outlined the course. That and the ensuing conversations took most of the time, which she said she usually spends getting to know students.

Each teacher has been very good about going through what the course is about and provides and strives to accomplish. I don’t think this is something that is being done just for my benefit, but the ease with which the instructors go through this suggests that it  is part of the regular routine. Very impressive.

When I left the computer class, I was tired and hungry and starting to have hallucinations. I was in the lobby, about to head out to try and find the bus to go home, when one of the students suggested we go for a coffee, to chat and unwind. I thought for a minute and said why not. So the two of us headed off – he said that since it was after 5 I could take off the sleep shades, but I said I didn’t want to get any visual help about the center or the geography. (I had had some when I came in the morning but I didn’t want any more. That also makes it difficult, since that is where there is accessible wireless access. I can see myself finding my way to McDonald’s or a nearby coffee house to use the computer.) It was not an easy walk but he was very good about suggesting changes to how I used the cane, and he talked me along. The norm is not to show someone or to guide them but to give them directions and let them find their way. We got to the coffee house and I had a large (and slightly stale and relatively tasteless) muffin (Note to self – a large coffee is fine, avoid the blueberry muffins at the end of the day.) But it filled the void, and we had a long an interesting chat. This guy is only recently blind – an auto accident – and is due to graduate in a couple of weeks. He is going to open his own company when he gets out, bringing together unusually talented blind people. When we finished we headed off to walk home. Now the walk home is around eight blocks, a little uphill, through a construction area and since it has been raining for days and days, there are several places where mud has taken over what used to be a path. One cross street has a stop light, the rest are listen and move exercises, and one large street that falls in that category is two-way, which is adventurous. And it’s dark, so we’re not as visible even with the canes. Ah the joy of adventures.

When we got to the complex area, my guide was startled when I told him my apartment number, since he had never been to this complex. Together we found the building and I found the right door, said my thank you, and went in. And took off the shades. From a little after 8 this morning until a little after six this evening, I was blind.

One of the things that was happening in the center and REALLY started happening on the way home was that I was starting to have hallucinations. Yes, I’m wearing sleep shades and there is no light reaching my eyes. (I also have to work on adjusting the shades because they were getting very uncomfortable by the end of the day.) But in the darkness I am seeing shapes and patterns and sights and while walking down a sidewalk, I think I am walking along a cliff, with a narrow path and steep drop offs on both sides. Or the path in my eyes starts to go left, while my companion and his voice are going right. Again, yikes! I know I have to ignore this new sight, but it is such a habit to trust your eyes, that it is not easy. I know I have to trust my cane, not my “eyes: but years of habit are not going to be broken in an afternoon.

But I was mildly proud that I had made my first walk home. Now tomorrow I will ride the bus, and hopefully a promised shopping trip will materialize, so I can get a little food in the house, some hangers and one or two other small bits. I didn’t bring any shaving gear – I have made no decision about re-growing the beard., but I am going to let it go for the two weeks and see what it looks like a how I feel when I get back to NY. I called a friend whose father had just died, discovered the Blackberry is not processing about 2/3 of the messages I received today, said Mass and wrote in this journal. A cup of hot water, I put the sleep shades on and did some Braille homework, and off to bed. If every day is this intense, it is going to be an amazing two weeks.

This is where I lived

Tuesday, January 18 – Up at 5:30, checked email and had breakfast – a cup of hot water, a pack of peanuts and a pack of pretzels left over from the Sunday flight. I have GOT to get shopping today. (Hey, if you eat them one at a time, and chew slowly, it can seem like you’re really eating something.) And see if I can find a place to watch the Sunday football game. With no internet access and no radio that produces news, I don’t even know what the weather is going to be.

I wore my shades out my front door, made it across the street and down to the general area where I thought the Activity Center was but the door I tried was locked. Turned out I had the right door and it was locked, but I didn’t trust myself so wandered about until some more people came. We chatted – the bus arrived and off for another day of wandering. Made it ok to the library for roll call – got a little confused leaving the library but made it to Home Management. Was given the task of cooking bacon and eggs. (aha! Food!) Took a lot of time just finding things, and small tasks like checking for eggshells in the bowl are different with shades on. But I cooked my bacon, cooked my eggs and ATE! Also did all the necessary cleaning up and putting away. Good. The two other students in the room are doing a red velvet cake and an apple pie with pecans. I can hardly wait for those projects to be realized.

Our second period today was seminar (these happens at least once and sometimes twice a week, and they vary the period so the same class doesn’t get cut out each time), so I found the library and got a seat. We had a guest speaker from Louisiana Tech talking about preparing for jobs and a whole lot about his own role in blind studies. The most interesting thing was that my hallucinations started appearing in real color instead of the black on black and black and grey shadows. After the seminar, as we were putting chairs back, I dropped my bag, which was open, so I was crawling around trying to retrieve things. When I got everything (I thought) I went out and had a very strong sense of being at the top of the staircase. I wasn’t – I couldn’t find the staircase – but I was scared to walk forward except in small steps. Now I KNEW I was in a corridor but it was very hard to overcome that illusion, and the fear that went with it. I could not find the staircase for love nor effort – I finally did find the elevator, so I got downstairs and sat. I thought I might look at my Braille, and discovered I had lost my slate, probably when the bag opened, so back up to the library and try to find a metal plate about two inches wide by six inches long in a pitch black room. Of course the room wasn’t black but it was to me. I did find it though, (I had left a piece of paper in it, which made it a lot easier to locate) and then ran into one of the administrators who said she was going to take me shopping at  3. Good news/bad news – I’m delighted to go shopping but it means missing Braille, which I probably need more than the food. Ah well.

Got to sit for a couple of minutes, and then off to shop. It had started to rain, and I managed to cross the side street at an angle, so when I got to the other side, I was not where I needed to be to find the door – and I could not find the landmark trashcan. I wandered for a bit, and as I was about to give up and use the front door, I found the step and got in. Our teacher was at a staff meeting, so we waited for a while until he came. I have no idea how long that was.

A word about waiting. We do a lot of it. Part of that is because sometimes you need to solve a problem before you can move. Sometimes, since the training is very one on one, you have to wait for a teacher to finish with one student before he or she can deal with you. And for me at least, at this point, all I can do is wait. I don’t have a radio to listen to – I can’t read Braille – so I wait. (Actually it’s a good time for prayer but that sounds a little too pious, so I won’t say that. But as this rate, I can count this trip for part of my next retreat.)

In shop I went through measurements and started on my first project, which is designed to teach me how to use a variety of tools. When I was in grammar school I had a very good shop program and a terrific teacher and I find  myself thinking happily of Mr. Whitlock – at least I know the tools and how to use them. The young man I came in with at the airport joined us so there are 5 students working at the same time – I suspect my departure will not be greeted with great sorrow, at least in this class.

I went back to the Center with more success than going over and was taken to a Walmart for shopping. When I took the shades off – ouch, it was so bright. And it was a rainy overcast day. I got some hangars and some food – when I got home I realized I had forgotten to get any silverware and there isn’t anything in the house, and what I thought was diet A&W Root Beer turns out to be Cream Soda. Well, so much for the “advantage” of being a sighted person. Doesn’t work if the brain isn’t also connected..

The administrator driving me agreed that it would be silly to go back to the center once everything had been put away – I had missed Braille and would have missed most of computer, so I stayed home. I went for a walk later in the day to see if I could find someplace to get some cutlery – even a fast food joint would have plastic stuff I could use. But I did not want to head into town, because that’s the walking route and if my cane skills get to the point where I am cleared to walk, I don’t want any visual aid for the exercise, so I went the other way. And found nothing. There was a chicken place but no inside service and since I did not have a car, they wouldn’t serve me. Go figure. Had a nice walk but that’s all. I defrosted some spaghetti that was in the freezer, and put some in a plastic cup and heated it in the microwave and added some hot water so it would pour and essentially drank it. Tomorrow I will get something, but I feel really stupid. Instant coffee – no spoon. Peanut butter for toast – no knife. (well, actually peanut butter for bread since there is no toaster. I know, I could use the broiler but that seems excessive.) A couple of salads – no fork. You’d think I would remember something that basic. Sigh.

Did some work on assorted projects, said Mass and headed up to bed for some reading and sleep. The upstairs is toasty warm and lovely – downstairs, not so much. But the table and chairs are down here – the bedroom has two twin beds and one dresser and a closet (now with hangers), so there isn’t a comfortable place to work. I got some very slow internet occasionally during the evening but that is the snake in the garden. With regular access this could be very pleasant indeed.

There is going to be a chili party on Sunday, so I got some chips and salsa to contribute (and I will throw in some of the diet cream soda as well). I was asked to play in the football game on Saturday morning – my youthful voice has people thinking I’m in my 40’s but while I am grateful for the invitation, the closest I will come is watching. Blind football? Full pads apparently. If the weather is not awful I might well go and watch this.

Tomorrow is a regular day, then on Thursday our 8 AM is at one, and the whole schedule backs up – and on Friday the 1 PM is at one, the 3 is at 3 and the 8 is at 6 and the 10 AM class is at 8, so we finish at 10. It promises to be an increasingly interesting week.

Wednesday, January 19 -  Boy am I sleeping well, Although I woke up with a serious headache. Aspirin for breakfast- plus rye bread and peanut butter, oj and instant coffee – although when you drop the Folgers into the hot water it fizzes. Fun. I did get some internet and got birthday greetings out. Didn’t have time for Mass but I did spend a little time going over Braille. I get my regular cane instructor today, and start serious work on my project in shop. This is tiring – I am sure one gets used to it, I don’t know if 2 weeks is enough time. Must be a different mentality when you know you’re going to be here for nine months.

Off to school. I made it across the street, which is no small accomplishment, since the traffic moves at a good clip, and there is a hill just to the right, which tends to block the sound. Yes, I am crossing with my shades on. Made it – found the activity room – visited with people until the bus came. Made it into the center and the library for the announcements. Down the hall to Home Ec and today I made biscuits. Well, almost. Each little step involves learning where things are and how to measure, and so forth. The recipe is on a tape, so listening and doing and keeping track of the tape is also part of the process.  But I was going great guns until it came time to put in the milk. I missed the measuring cup by a little, so while I got some in the cup, I also got more in the bowl – in fact, too much more, so it all got thrown out and start again. I only had time to put together the dry ingredients before it was time to clean and move on to the next class. Today was staffing, which means that teachers meet with the students for whom they are counselors and it had an influence on the whole day. The teacher left before I was finished cleaning, and so there were some items I did not know where to put away, and the counter where I had been working was not as clean as it should have been,

My next class was cane navigation, and my teacher is in the same building as the shop. I went over and he was running late because of staffing. We chatted for a while, and we went walking, mostly in the building. Taught me some additional cane technique and talked about navigating outside. I got the geography of the building re-enforced, but how much of it will stay in the head is anyone’s guess. I am a quick learner, but a dubious retainer. Toward the end of the lesson the home ec teacher said I had an appointment with her during lunch. I wasn’t aware of one, and then I realized – oops. My unfinished business. So I went up to the kitchen and did my cleaning and putting away.

Lunch today was a project for one of the senior students, lunch for 40. Salad and taco soup, with assorted trimmings and cornbread and a cold drink and pudding. I usually skip lunch, so I was not planning on attending – but the home ec teacher said that serving a meal from a buffet and finding a place in a crowded dining room was one of the tasks, so I got her her lunch. Sat and chatted with some of the folks and all too soon it was time for shop.

Back across the street, and the shop teacher had to leave early because of staffing. I went back to work on my first project, and when I thought I was done and evaluated my work, realized how badly I had botched it. Manual skills I am out of practice with, and doing it without the benefit of sight. Sigh. Might simply start over tomorrow. Off to Braille. Where the teacher had to be out because of staffing. One of the more experienced worked with me on reading. Yes, Virginia, after two days I am reading Braille. Well, the beginning pages from McGuffy’s reader, and so far only using about half the alphabet. But I have my shades on – they do not come off from the time I leave the house until I return – so my fingers are learning to read and recognize the shapes. I did two pages, and then spent the rest of the time writing in Braille, using the letters I have learned so far.

And on to the computer class. Now I am a fairly fluid typist – but I am self-taught and do not use a standard system. This is ok, as long as I can use my eyes occasionally to see what I am doing, and make sure my fingers stay in alignment. I used to be a very good typist, but years of computer use have made me sloppy and careless. When one had to re-type a page if the error were not easily correctible, one paid attention. With a computer – it really doesn’t matter. So what did I do today? Took and failed a standard typing test, which is the first step to computer use. Before going to bed, I am going to spend some time with my eyes closed, typing phrases and sentences.

And on to the bus. Not a bad day – made some progress in my ability to get around, and deal with the kitchen and niceties of daily life. Not so great in shop and computer, but there you are. Had a lovely Caesar salad for dinner, and will spend some time working. Tomorrow we go to class from 1 PM to 10 PM  - so a sleep until I awake is in order, and there should be time for work both in these subjects and some things for the “real” world.

Downstairs was so cold tonight I turned the oven on high and opened the door. It helped.

January 20 – Thursday

Set the alarm for just over 9 hours of sleep, and the alarm woke me up. Had a light breakfast and actually got on the internet for a little. Had a shower and prayed, said Mass and worked on homework items until time to head off for class. I really botched up the shop project – I can get the answer (ie finding the center of the block) but the process is fairly awful. I may ask if I can start over. I did learn some new letters. In Braille, of course.

The weather continues to be grey and chilly, although the temp hovers in the forties. The weather report that I heard this morning talked about rain. I wonder if they picked this place because for the blind there is nothing to see but grey skies and dead leaves.

The bus for those who don't walk the route

Made it across the street and to the Activity Center – I mention little details like this because they represents major accomplishments. Well, minor accomplishments – but I’m walking around totally without using my eyes, just my cane and my brain. (I can hear the wits among you making comments about being additionally handicapped, with the brain I’ve got. Yuk, yuk.) The bus came – we all boarded – and off we went. In to the library – announcements and then seminar. I had forgotten we had seminar, and had grabbed a standing place near the door, so ended up sitting on the floor. The topic was employment, and especially using rehab counselors. I was obviously not the audience, although I did take part a little at the end. But the focus was pushing the students to articulate what next after they leave the center. Some had very definite plans – some were very much up in the air. Some were very focused and together, some very naïve. A wide range. But probably a useful exercise for them. I did say that one of the things they should do is play to their strengths, and mentioned that while we have two certified braillists on our staff, we also contract Braille work and editing out to individuals – I got two people who said they wanted to talk more, and one young man interested in an internship.

The seminar took the place of shop today – and then off to Braille, where I worked on letters, and to computer, where I passed the first level and started working on the next. Break time – chatted with some people, skipped lunch (which on today’s schedule was dinner) and then to home ec, where I finished (and ate) my biscuits. Well, only two of them – helpful classmates ate most of the others. I did have two to take home with me. I also got a small jar of the taco soup from yesterday that was being given away.

And on to cane travel. Had to wait a little for Derrick but we had a really good session. Of course now it’s 8 o’clock at night and getting cold, but he solidified my sense of the building, and taught me some skills for outdoor travel. Now being taught and knowing are not the same things – but my last exercise was to go through my class schedule, which I did fairly confidently. So not a bad class at all. Waited a little for the bus – because it is night, many people taking the bus home, and there were two buses. I also discovered two dogs – I don’t know if they are newly arrived or if I have simply never encountered them before, but two dogs. How lovely.

When I got home I had some of the taco soup and checked email quickly and went to bed. The computer teacher told me about a program that echoes your letters and words, a basic screen reader (and it’s FREE!) and it works really well. My typing will improve.

Friday, January 21 – It’s been a long week. I slept until 9 and the alarm woke me up. Had one of my biscuits and some of the taco soup for breakfast. They call it taco soup but it is a thick mixture of several kinds of beans and corn and spices. Tingly but not really hot. Filled me right up. Shower and prayer – tried to get the voice reader on the computer to boot up again and that proved very difficult. Did some work on Braille. There is – aha - sunlight today, and tomorrow they are talking about temperatures in the 50’s. Even with the sleep shades on, walking out the door into sunlight is a very different experience.

I got over to the Activity Center easily – and discovered I had not put on my briefcase (I am using my computer bag as a briefcase, and wear it over my shoulder, leaving my hands free for navigation) So back to the house, grabbed the bag, and by the time I got to the other side, the bus was there, so I headed for the sound and boarded. Not many people – most who can walk are doing it in weather like this. Announcements – and the first class which is home ec. I opted to make brownies – around me one student was finishing his red velvet cake, so I had a taste of that. I had missed the apple pie with pecans yesterday, and today she was doing recipes into Braille. Another student was working on. another cake, I think. But it was a busy kitchen.

Note to self – chocolate is messy. Especially when without sight. Of course for me, any new ingredient means finding it – any new utensil, and so on. I have learned to use the oven – I thought I knew how to use the timer, but as I will relate, that turned out not to be the case. Anyway, off into the mysteries of brownies. The teacher wanted me to do a swirl brownie – cream cheese and sugar and egg mixed together and swirled on top of the brownie mix, but I ran out of time – this doing things blind takes time. That’s one lesson, by the way – we have scheduled classes, and the teachers are very relaxed about when you get there because they know that travel and other activities may take time. I was REALLY late for my cane travel today, for instance, because of the need to finish up and clean up in the kitchen. Sometimes people in cane travel have assignments to find a place and they get lost, or take more time than was estimated. One guy yesterday found his site – it was a ways off, since he is quite accomplished and will graduate within a month. His site was right next to a Kentucky Fried Chicken so he stopped and got something to eat. Then he got lost in the parking lot, and spent a good 15 minutes figuring out how to get re-oriented.

Cane travel is technique and skills, but a lot of it is simply problem solving. I have crossed this street many times, but suddenly I am coming up against what proves to be a car? What does that tell me? If I have wandered from what I thought was a straight line, what other clues are there to help me re-orient? Where is the traffic flow? What direction is this car facing? Where is the curb? And so on. The texture of the ground beneath your feet becomes important, and so a little sliding of the cane instead of just tapping is a real help in keeping you placed in your environment. You are listening and thinking and paying attention every second you are walking, because even in a place you know, something may be in your way that wasn’t there ten minutes or even ten seconds ago. A stop for a conversation may re-orient you without your realizing it.

Anyway – I got the batter made for the brownies and ran out of time, so I stuck them in the oven and abandoned the idea of the swirl. I set the timer, and cleaned – and then was told I had to do more cleaning, because apparently there was chocolate everywhere, including on me. In fact, when I had satisfactorily cleaned (and things like beaters and whisks present special cleaning challenges to the blind because there are so many places that chocolate batter can hide) my teacher took my out on the fire escape and brushed me off from chest to knees, and had me wash my face, since apparently I had chocolate there too.

And off to cane travel, where we reviewed the building and patterns, I learned a better way to find the shop, and we worked on echoes, hearing the space around me as well as the noises in that space. A couple of times I was able to turn into a corridor without shorelining – tapping along the side of something – just by hearing the sounds. Feels neat to be able to walk through a space and know where you are going. In the kitchen, for instance, we leave our bags and canes by the door, and I am at a point where I can often walk directly from the sink to the wastebasket. Little moments of accomplishment.

After travel I went back to the kitchen to see how the brownies came out. (The teacher had said she would take them out when the timer went off.) She set me up and taught me how to cut them, using a pre-measured board and toothpicks. Very soggy – delicious but not possible to take them out and put them on a plate. So I put them back in for a little bit – I know that re-cooking a cake item once it has cooled is not often helpful but there was little other choice, and the teacher wasn’t around for advice. Cleaned everything I had used – took the items out, and had almost five minutes of my own time (this was during the dinner/lunch break – we are still on a 1 to 10 PM schedule today) before shop class.

Went over for shop and asked permission to start the project over again. And spent the period working on that. One women who is having difficulties dealing with the physical problems made delicious oatmeal and pecan cookies, which we all praised to the skies, and today she got a real grasp of how the click ruler works. And again, everyone applauded her success. The temptation is to say that she is slow, but she just takes things at her own pace, and by the time she graduates, she will be fine and her confidence level will be much, much higher.

And off to Braille class, which was fun for me. I worked on letters (writing) and then read for a while and then worked on letters. It’s a struggle to identify the dots, especially when they come together to form words. But it’s coming, because once you identify one letter, then you know where the next one starts. Often enough, especially at this early stage, one can also guess a word once you have some letters, because other guesses are ruled out because you know you don’t have those letters yet. (Although by Monday I will have all the letters and the cap and the number sign, so that help will be gone.) We talked a little bit about how we process – Pam has been blind from birth, so she has never seen or used print, and for her Braille goes directly into images or however her brain processes the information. Our teacher, Mr. Whittle, had sight before going blind, and so his Braille goes to English print and then to information. Now over the years that has become second nature, like speaking another language or playing an instrument – but there are different ways the information is transmitted. One of the young women said she has had dreams in which people left her a Braille message or in which Braille figured in some way. One student her was applauded at roll call on Thursday because her reading speed was over 350 words – can that be a minute? I think so.

Mr. Whittle, my Braille teacher and a great baseball fan

I also learned that level 3 Braille is really mostly only used for personal note-taking and writing, that there is really nothing written for public consumption above level two.

Anyway from there to computers – I stopped in the kitchen on the way to see how round 2 had turned out but the teacher wasn’t in and I didn’t want to be too late. Some days are better than others. Some days you bite the bear, some days the bear bites you. The bear – in this case the compute program – won. I had not been able to get the talking program working on my computer, so I had not done a lot of practice and I had an awful time with both hearing the examples to type, and then getting them typed. The keyboard is just different enough from my own that it is not always easy to find the keys. I know, that’s an excuse but when you are a self-taught typist who uses patterns rather than the standard touch typing system, it does make a difference. As I was starting to get the hang of it, the teacher (Jewels- A woman) got an email from Pam that said she wanted to see me at 9:30 – and since it was 9:35 I got released.) She just wanted to check up on me, see how I was doing. We chatted for a bit, and then I went up to see about the brownies. Apparently the first time I thought I had set the timer but hadn’t started it, so the teacher had no idea when to take them out. She guessed – which was why they were a little goopy. They were better although the top was REALLY crispy – and she sealed them up in the pan so I could take them home. I went out and just missed the bus. Almost everyone was taking the bus rather than walking –it was 10:15 at night or later – so the bus did come back for a second load. A group was going out to the Waffle House but I simply did not have the energy for THAT adventure. And I was carrying a tray full of brownies.

I left the bus, cane in one hand and brownie pan in the other, and headed over and got turned around. Could be the bus was in a different location – could be I cut too sharply when trying to find the curb – but I had no idea where I was, and since walking into the road was a real possibility – and there was no traffic going by at that moment to help me – I simply stood still. I knew the bus would be leaving, and I could get a sense of where the edge of the road was and which went the road went by listening, so I waited. And found my way. It was cold but other than cheating and peeking through my sleep shades – which was not really an option – I had no other choice. (My own person code is that unless I think I am in real danger, the shades don’t come off.)

Had the last of the taco soup, checked email and went to bed. I thought I might read a little but only got through a couple of pages before I dozed off – woke up, turned off the light and hunkered down. I did not turn on the alarm.

Saturday, January 22 – I slept eleven hours. I woke up once, went to the bathroom, read for about ten minutes and then crawled back. Got up around 11, beautiful crisp day with sunlight. Had half a grapefruit and an apple with some peanut butter and a cup of coffee. Did some email, some work on a couple of projects and around 2 went out for a walk. I was careful not to go the route that the students use to go to the Center. If I get approved for travel, I don’t want any visual aid to help me along – or get in the way, whichever way that might work. I took my camera, but the idea was really to explore and get some exercise of a different kind. There is a lot of standing – in home ec you are always on your feet. Ditto cane travel – and walking, especially in cane travel – but just to stretch out the legs and see something else of Ruston, especially with this good weather. A couple of students asked about my plans, but I don’t want to see them without my shades. I will before I leave but again, knowing what they look like may influence how I respond to them and I don’t want that to get in the way of the full experience. I did confirm yesterday that two of the students have dogs – I haven’t heard them talked about before, so they may be new (the dogs, not the students) – but I really don’t know at this point.

The football game had been called off because the ground was so muddy, it would have been a real mess. Tao be re-scheduled at a later date.

I was remembering our Novice Master’s admonition when someone, on being given an assignment to help in a school said he had been a teacher before entering. Our Novice Master said – Ah, but have you done it as a Jesuit? The lesson, of course, was that there should be something different in the way you do whatever it is in your life if you are doing it as a Jesuit. Ah – but have you done it as a blind person? Everything is different. There is a party tomorrow afternoon, chili and fixings over in the activity center, and I am a little apprehensive. Mixing and mingling and finding food and a place to sit and dealing with salsa and chips and chili – should be an interesting adventure. I did cut and eat the grapefruit this morning without sight – that was trickier than I had thought.

I also realized on my walk that the blind have to plan ahead – I was walking along and saw  a Dollar store and went in to buy a few things. I walked around the store until I found what I wanted – and made a few impulse purchases as well. Resisted others. But while a blind person with training could walk along a street they don’t know, and learn about their surroundings through a range of clues, and find their way from a strange place  – they can’t know that there is a Dollar Store 30 yards away in the parking lot. They can’t wander through the store and browse without some assistance. They have to plan ahead.

Ah for a tv set or a computer connection good enough to let me stream. One thing I did NOT see on my walk was anything resembling a bar, especially a sports bar – thinking of tomorrow’s football. Well, there is always radio.

One of the students came over to tell me that there would be a car going to Mass tomorrow morning at St. Thomas Aquinas, so that sort of delineates my morning. So I went to bed around 9 and set the alarm for six. I read a little before turning in – got up around 1 and read for ten or fifteen minutes – but the alarm woke me again from a deep sleep.

Sunday, January 23 – Grapefruit, email, coffee and the last biscuit from cooking adventure earlier in the week – shower and dressed – you notice no mention of shaving? I now have a week’s growth, and I’ll see what it looks like when I get back to NY. Did some writing – I had an idea in the middle of the night and managed to write it down before it went away. As I lie in bed I am running the Braille alphabet and figuring out how to walk different places with my shades on – not just here, but back in Manhattan as well. I just realized last night that the letters k through t are the letter a through j with dot three added. I know, that doesn’t mean anything to you but for me it was a major discovery.

My Mass provider came by a little early and we chatted until the car came to collect us. Yes, I was wearing my shades throughout. Followed his tapping cane into the church, found a pew – got through Mass ok but accepted the guiding hand of someone to help me get to communion and back to the same pew. Nice group – the choir needs help (the concept of legato has not arrived at St. Thomas Aquinas Church) and somehow the priest thinks that concrete is not one but two different words. “Con” – pause – “crete”. The child’s room is not soundproof. Pam and Roland (Pam’s husband)  were there, ran into them on the way out. (I thought I heard another cane and yup, there they were.) Back to the house for some work – still CANNOT get the talking screen program to work again. I cut up the brownies – they taste delicious but they tend to crumble. I’ll put out the plate and walk away. And I set the pan to soak, because it has to be clean and sparkling when I return it.

I have to figure out how to carry the taco chips, the salsa, a 12-pack of diet cream soda and the brownies in one hand, and my cane in the other. I really do NOT want to have to make two trips. I can get the chips and salsa into my bag, if I can figure out a way to attach the soda, then I can carry the brownies with one hand and the cane in the other. Even little things turn into an adventure.

I was unable to get the screen reader to work, so I did a little Braille and it was time to go over. I got everything into or attached to my computer case and carried the brownies and off I went. It was easy to find the Activity Center – the noise of talking guided me right to it. I forget how many of the students are partially sighted, and at an event like this, they don’t wear their shades, so I (wearing shades) got some guidance on where to put things and how to get around. Two kinds of chili – beef and pork (the beef was better) and jalapeno corn bread that was terrific. There were also desserts and potato salad and some other stuff I never got to – but interesting conversations and a nice afternoon. I gave my camera to JD, the shop teacher who is sighted, to take some pictures for me. His wife is there – he met her when she was student. Nice love story. Got home in time to hear the 4^th quarter of the first game, and review some folders and work for NY. (Temperature got up to 59 degrees today – which made going over and back very nice – I even went out the back door and just stood in the sun for a couple of minutes.)

At the chili party - notice that I am the only one wearing shades.

Had to wash dishes and then worked on Braille some more. Listening to a championship game is not the same thing as watching it. Went through folders and got a couple of things done for NY although the major item on my To Do list remains unresolved. Went upstairs to bed in the 4^th quarter and stayed up reading until the game was over. Nice to be in central time.

January 24 – Monday –

Woke up a couple of times during the night, once enough so that I even got up and read a chapter before going back to sleep. Got up at 5 so I could do some Braille work before leaving for class. 47 degrees when I got which holds out promise – cane travel this morning and it should be warm and sunny. Yay! Just think, one week ago I was getting ready to head to the Center for the first time, and I was looking around and seeing things. A lot has happened in that week, and I have not begun to process all of it yet.

Made it easily to the Activity Center, visited with others there until the bus came – a small group, most walking in these days when it is warm. I probably could go with someone, but I want to be sure my technique is good. At roll call, Pam announced that we would be on a flipped schedule for the week, afternoon classes in the morning and morning in the afternoon. So my first class was shop. Did a little remedial work, and moved to the next stage of the first project and learned a little bit more about navigation from Mr. James, including where the tool closet is. I had a little trouble getting to the shop, but solved the confusion.

One of the almost completed senior projects

Braille was interesting – Mr. Whittle put me on the Braille writer and I found it fairly easy to get the hang of. The bigger problem is remembering the letters of course, but I used the caps and numbers signs and didn’t do badly. Worst part was the distraction of another student reading her book aloud. Computer was also good – moved to using Microsoft Word, and the typing went very well and using the commands was pretty good.

I had a quiet lunch period, and off to home ec. Returned the baking pan and spatula, and said I did NOT want to do anything with flour. We decided on a stew since I had that meat in the freezer at home. Prepared potatoes and carrots and onions and put them away. I’ll defrost the meat and get it in the crock pot first thing, so it might be ready for lunch. It’s 3 ½ pounds of meat – might not use it all. But it was a productive period. There was a bus travel trip today so a number of students were out – they go to a nearby city and learn to use the public transport in that city.

After that off to cane travel – on the way over the secretary told me I had a package – it was the cd’s and the calendars I had asked for. I got them into my bag and off to class. Derrick and I did street walking for a little bit, and then set out to learn the route to the house. Not bad – it started to rain, and it was getting colder, which did not thrill me or make the walk any more fun, but with only one moment of serious confusion, I got there.

You leave the front door and go north on Trenton, the large one way thoroughfare that passes on front of the school and goes north and south (traffic goes south). It is a very handy reference – but so are all streets. There is a railroad track on the way one has to cross – active, with many freight trains each day. There are bars to block the street but noting to block the sidewalk, so one listens. They do whistle, and trains are noisy, so you shouldn’t be surprised – but you listen. From there to Park, cross Park and Alley (which is an alley) and then you get to Mississippi. Turn right, so that Mississippi is on your left. (There is a jewelry store on that block with a protruding window which can whap you if you’re not careful – your cane goes underneath and misses the hanging window, which is a reminder of why the instructor keeps saying to stay in the middle of the sidewalk rather than shorelining all the time.) Traffic is a better indicator than shorelining, and lets you keep your pace up. You want to walk briskly.

This would seem to be simple, just follow Mississippi all the way home. And I’m even on the same side of the street where I live. We get to Vienna, which is the counterpart to Trenton, only going in the opposite direction. A strong traffic indicator, with no light, if I remember correctly. There is a light farther down, and another street with a 4-way stop. You wait for the silence and cross briskly. On until we get to – is it Bonner? Learning the streets is a real help. Here is a 4-way stop with a twist – Mississippi does a dog leg right, so if you cross straight ahead you end up in the road. You head slightly left and end up at the corner, but now on the other side of Mississippi. (You don’t want to try for the right side, since there is no sidewalk there.) At the corner there is also a construction area, with mud and problems, so we walk on the road, along the side and shoreline the side of the road until we find a driveway.

Driveways can be momentarily confusing but checking for a gutter indicates whether or not a curb is a driveway or parking lot. Roads also have a slight rise in the middle, for draining, which alleys and driveways don’t, usually slanting slightly into the street. When you tap the cane, a slight slide helps keep in touch with the texture of the road, and that is always a help in keeping track of changing environment. Ramps at street corners are great for people in chairs or pushing things, but for me, I’d rather have a clean curb. Ah well, we use what we’ve got.

Not bad considering I had never done it in that direction, and walking with that older student on the first night was more an exercise of keeping up with him than learning a route. On Friday I may observe when Derrick and a student do a drop and return exercise, where they are dropped by a car and have to find their way back. I can’t do it in shade, I’ll be in a different mode – but it will be the last class of the last day.

We got to the house just before 5 – I was quite wet and an hour later my hands were still cold. I fired up the stove and opened the door, had a large salad for dinner, and did some writing while things were still fresh. Dealt with the mass of emails that had arrived during the day and defrosted the meat for the stew. I may even try to sear it, so tomorrow it can go straight into the crock pot along with everything else. Said Mass, worked on Braille and figured I might even do a hot tub while listening to the state of the union, if I can find a local radio station that is carrying it. Internet service dreadful even by the low standards I have come to live with here.

I’ll have to go back up and check – did I mention I had stopped wearing a watch? By the third day or so, I realized it was just a habit, because with my shades on, I couldn’t look at it. I’m even far enough out of it I was ready to listen to the State of the Union on the wrong day. Sigh. I did sear the meat – I did the first few and observed and then did the rest with shades. Patience – one can only keep track of a few pieces of meat at a time, since you can’t see them to be sure they’re seared and not burning. I checked the pile when I was finished, and did re-do a couple but all in all, not bad.

Tuesday, January 25. The Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul. I reflect that the first step in bringing Paul to God (after knocking him off the horse) was to make him blind. And he had to turn to others for help, and teaching.

Up at 5 and it is still pouring rain. I didn’t bring an umbrella – interesting. I don’t have cane travel until last period today, since we are on a switched schedule, but they are talking about rain all day long. The gutter are full and the ground is soaked. Oh joy. Said Mass, had something to eat. Shower and dress and before I know it, off into the rain. An exercise in finding and avoiding puzzles. I told JD, who drives the bus and is the shop teacher, that I would be late for class. Right after roll call I dashed to the kitchen, got out the crock pot and put in the meat, got the veggies and put them in. Seasoning – beef brother (I read the label in Braille – once I figured out which side was up) and got it cooking and off to shop. I had left my work yesterday but fortunately it had not been thrown out, so I was introduced to a new power tool, and completed that step – and started on the next one.

The apartments across the street where the regular students live for the 9-month program

From there to Braille – we have the head of a blind school from Kurdistan (sp?) visiting, and she was in class today, with one of our students who is from there. She read, another student read to himself until the last 15 minutes and I worked on the Braille writer, also learning some basic abbreviations. A little bit of drill and I should be solid on the letters. The Braille writer is so much fun I need to remind myself to keep reading.

Computer class was more conversation than work today but we reviewed Microsoft keys and tomorrow we will do the note writer. Went to the kitchen during lunch and stirred, and turned down. Added some cooking wine, since the flavor was not as rich as I wanted. Helped but still not a strong, flavorful stew.

See? I can tie a Windsor knot. Sort of.

Went to the library to sit for a bit, and then back to the kitchen for class. Things were a little disjointed – we had some guests and Merrilyn (the teacher) spent some time with them. I did necktie tying and it was soon time for seminar. Pam read an email from some graduate students who had developed a guidance system for blind people that involved painting routes with a special invisible paint so a tracking system could guide the blind person around, Might as well put up poles with string. No one thought this was a good idea, and several noted that researchers and developers would do better to involve blind people in the early stages, rather than coming to them after the product or idea had been completed. It was a long session, a little repetitive, and I confess I dozed off. (One of the sideline advantages to wearing sleep shades is that no one knows when your eyes close.)

After seminar, dashed to the kitchen and tasted the stew. OK – not great but won’t kill you. One student came in and had some, and I packed the rest in large baggies, cleaned my dishes and the counter and headed back to the library for the 5:30 meeting of the NFB local chapter meeting. Another meeting, although there was a nice moment when one of the students introduced me to the chapter (which includes people not at the school) and spoke appreciatively of my being there. I got a chance to say a few words – and you know I never pass up a chance like that. I found myself getting a tad emotional at the thought of leaving. I really could spend 9 months here and become part of this little community, although they are all much younger. Heck I’m older than most of the teachers. And off to catch the bus and come home, to 85 emails. Answered what needed to be answered, had some of my stew and up to bed while the state of the union was still going on. I couldn’t get a clear link, and so it broke off and came back and broke off and came back and it wasn’t worth the effort. I’ll read about it tomorrow morning.

Wednesday, July 26. My parents wedding anniversary, would have been their 65^th. Woke up at 4 this morning and decided to get up. Had something to eat – dealt with emails and sent myself a couple of pictures that Merrilyn took yesterday when I was working on the tying a tie exercise. Changed my FB profile. Heavy snow and freezing in NY today. Sounds like it could be serious, 4 to 8 in the city, and 8 to 12 north and east. So far Monday still looks open and no problem for getting home. Although there are snow showers for Tuesday – as long as that doesn’t start to move faster. 27 when I awoke but supposed to get to 55 today, so by cane travel it could be nice. One can hope. I gave out several calendars yesterday – I’ll take the rest with me today – and my camera for others to take pictures.

Worked on alphabet and I think I have it – I also tried to go over the first round of letter short cuts, there are a few blanks I don’t remember. I need to spend some time with the stylus. Pam is going to the Daytona event, and the Washington seminar is right after that, so I need to check on airport travel for Monday. I think I can stop in for roll call and head off right after that.

Over for the bus, and JD announced he would not be present on Friday. We have no shop tomorrow because of an 8 AM seminar, so at shop I took off my shades at the end of class and took a couple of pictures. JD gave me a cross he had made for me of lignum vita, wood of life, a heavy wood with lots of sap that is essentially self-lubricating. I got to use the table saw – or was it the radial arm saw? One of those. I was very touched by the gift, and found that the arms of the cross are cut out, with a small section in the center bar and they spell “Jesus” Nice piece. Had a little trouble crossing the street, but solved the problem and got there. The sound of the router didn’t hurt in terms of orienting myself.

JD and the Jesus cross he made for me.

On to Braille, where I spent the class mostly writing with the Perkins Brailler. Getting better. In computer we spent the period working with the note taker – now THAT is a device. Word processor, address book, email, internet, database, games, typing tutor for Braille writing – all in a unit not as large as a phone book, with 32 character Braille display. You can write in level one and have it show the writing in level 2. 3 USB slots and a slot for a memory card. Hooks into JAWS and your computer. Now this little darling costs around $2,000 and they suggest that users be reading at a level of at least 60-70 words a minute. But it was an interesting bit of equipment.

Lunch – One student was having her meal for 40 exercise, spaghetti and meat sauce, salad, garlic bread (Texas toast) a drink, and Mississippi Mud pudding. Got good reviews – I continue to skip lunch, so I went to the lobby and visited and did a (very) little Braille.

Home ec was mostly cleaning, although Merilynn did spend some time showing me how she teaches students to write longhand, with a check writing template, a page template – fascinating. I never thought that people who grow up blind would need to learn to write by hand – if for nothing more than checks and signatures. One student making pizza and another working on Belgian waffles.

Cane travel – everyone was going back to the apartments for inspection and home skills. Faculty members go through the apartments and help teach home skills, including cleaning, laundry, stuff like that. Now this is not something I need, so I went over to Derrick’s office. He had scheduled something for 4:15, but we worked for an hour, and did some area travel. My pace has picked up – had a couple of problem solving moments. He is talking about working with me tomorrow on a longer route, and letting me do a solo on Friday instead of observing. (That also means he can do the drop route with another stuydent without worrying about me, since it is truly a solo. A sign of his confidence in how I am doing.) I left him to go back to the Center – Pam had said that she and Roland wanted to take me out to dinner, so I was going to meet them around six. I figured I could work on Braille during the interval. Except that I must have gotten disoriented and ended up crossing Trenton instead of Railroad Avenue and found myself on the street across from the center. Yikes! I figured it out and got myself back but it was a scary couple of moments.

This is Trenton Street. It's a great help in orientation, but when you cross it by accident, it's a little scary. 

I went up to the library and could not find the table – I suspect they have moved it for the envelope stuffing project that is currently going on. I did some stylus writing, which was ok, and some mental exercises – reading was tough, because I couldn’t take off my shades to check my work. I could have, but I had made myself a pact and was earning admiration by sticking to it. Many – well, several of the students are partially sighted, and they wear shades for their classes, but they take them off for travel outside of class hours, and during lunch. I don’t. After a while the building got really quiet, and since I didn’t know what time it was, I went down to the lobby. Turns out it was five to six, and people started to assemble – turns out it wasn’t just Roland and Pam but also several others – we were seven plus me. All crammed into one SUV, with Merrilyn driving – I think she was the only sighted person. Went to WOW, a restaurant with another branch in New Orleans. They had Braille menus but I’m not up that yet – it was about five pages. I asked the waitress for suggestions and ended up with catfish and creole fries.

The real surprise of the evening was fried pickles. Yum, and I know what I want to make at cooking next time. I was home around 8:30 – 13 hours in sleep shades. Did a little email checking and went to bed. Tired.

Saturday is the Blind Driver Challenge in Daytona, when a blind driver will drive a modified car around the car. The car does not drive itself, the driver responds to cues fed to him from sensors that send information to an onboard computer. Some are going for that, and a number are going to Washington starting on Sunday for a gathering that goes on each year when groups go to meet legislators and lobby for items that will help the blind community. Congress recently passed legislation that mandates that5 electric cars must make a noise, because silent cars are really dangerous for blind people. After this week of walking with a cane, I understand in a whole new way the value of being able to hear a car. It’s that sort of activity, and people come from all over the U.S. for this exercise.

January 27 – Thursday. So much for being tired. I was up at 2, read for a little and back to bed. Off and on until 5 when the alarm went off. Breakfast and email and writing – life quickly settles into a routine. I will have had four different schedules in my two weeks here. Reports from NY talking about a lot of snow, public schools closed, XSB is open.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

That’s the best short explanation of why I am doing what I am doing.

Beautiful weather day. In with the bus, roll call and morning seminar. Mr. Whittle led the session Braille and the importance of Braille. Rather preaching to the choir, drumming up support for something everyone is already in agreement with. On to Braille, where I spent much of the period reading. This will take time. In computer I worked with another portable machine, like yesterday’s only smaller and with many of the same capacities but with an 80 gig hard drive. Except that Jewel couldn’t make it work connecting with the Internet. The best-laid plans….

During the lunch break, Toastmasters met, and I couldn’t resist. I used to be a member of Toastmaster when I was running a dinner theatre in Charlotte, and members give speeches and respond to events of the day extemporaneously. They fine speakers who use verbal fillers, and yet the officers and evaluators use them to the point of distraction. It’s a good idea, and they seemed to have an enthusiastic membership but I think they need to raise the bar a little.

On to cooking, where I did fried pickles, both dill and sweet. I preferred the dill; Merilynn prefers the sweet. Another young lady was doing Belgian waffles but forgot to whip the eggs, so it didn’t rise as much as it should have, and she used pecans in the batter but didn’t chop them, so the waffle maker didn’t always close properly. They tasted great – but lessons were learned. Cleanup is always troublesome – time management is the one thing I have not gotten ahold of in the kitchen. One guy was working on shining shoes and doing a Braille budget. Home ec isn’t just cooking, but a wide range of home skills – another young woman had made pizza for lunch, and after she cleaned up, she had dusting – which is cleaning a whole large section of the Center. Did I mention they even teach you how to take apart a vacuum cleaner and do simple repairs?

So I was late for cane travel. Gorgeous weather, so we walked the route I will do tomorrow. Had a few problems, but solved them. We got back just in time for the bus home. Supposed to rain on Saturday and Sunday, so a quiet time inside seems appropriate. I am thinking of doing a walk to and from the Center tomorrow morning, just to see if I can do it.

January 28, Friday – Last day as a student at the Center. Up at 4 AM – not my idea, the body seems to be waking up when it wants to. Said Mass, checked mail, had something to eat – since the electric stove has a smooth surface for burners, I tried doing toast. Set the temp too high – it gets toasted very fast. Might try again tomorrow. Need to tie down the travel arrangements for Monday.

37 degrees as I walk out the door, but the weather report says it will go up to 68 degrees today. One has his suitcase because he is going to Daytona and then on to Washington. I took a couple of pictures at the Activity Room, and the bus came. At roll call, I took a couple of more pix – funny, because I don’t know who most of these people are except by their voices. Off to shop class – JD was out, so Mr. James is by himself. I chatted with one student for a bit and then spent some time with Mr. J while he explained the design program, how he came to create it and how it works. Each student creates his or her own project – they conceive it, and he leads them through moving from concept to how you imagine space and how you measure it and then how you build it. They have progressed through all the tools in the shop, and the work they make is truly gorgeous. The student pays 20% of the cost up to $200 and all the cost above that. All the wood is quality – cherry, maple, assorted others. No pine.

From there to Braille, where I spent the class writing – filled two full pages with sentences and worked on using the abbreviations, and punctuation marks. Again, at the end of class took pictures – discovered what my fellow student looks like. Mr. Whittle I had met at the Detroit Convention so I knew him. I also bought a Slate Mate to keep my slate and stylus, which I get to keep, along with the McDuffy’s Reader. Down to Jewel, where we chatted, reviewed what I had done during the past two weeks, and she gave me a bag of Louisiana pecans. Yum. At lunch I went to see the dining room, and took a picture and then went to sit for a little bit. Home ec was mostly with shades off – there was a general call throughout the day for people to come and help with stuffing the envelopes for the mail out, since the goal was to have it finished today, so I was the only one there. Jess was finishing off some snickerdoodles she had made, and Charles was cleaning up from his lunch for 8, so Merilynn and I chatted for a bit and then I went to sit again. My back was bothering me, and I had a loss of energy.

One pays attention crossing railroad tracks

But I rallied, and instead of the original route, Derrick suggested that I go to another bank, and before I left, I asked him to come out and take some pictures of me walking with the cane. That done, off on my first solo. Had one moment of totally getting lost, but Derrick showed up (as I was working on it – I wonder how I would have done had he not arrived) and the trip was otherwise uneventful. I spent a little time on the balcony in the absolutely beautiful weather, and then walked home, without shades but with my eyes closed for as much of the way as I felt comfortable with. I did not use the traditional route, and had a good walk and good cane experience. Yes, I looked more than once, but probably only peeked three or four times. I’ll take that, for a route I had never walked with my eyes or talked my way through.

Notice that I am right in the middle of the crosswalk

Oops - this is NOT how it is supposed to be done.

Home and had a Caesar salad – did some writing – had a quiet night but starting to think about what I need to do when I get back –gonna be a busy time.

Tomorrow I will sleep until I wake up.

Saturday, January 29 – And I did, although that was only a little after 7. But better than 8 hours, which is ok. Gorgeous day – supposed to get up to 75, and at 11:15 it’s 67, so there is hope. A quiet morning at home – browsed a little to see if I could find anything about the Daytona event, but no live or web coverage that I could spot. Had an apple with some peanut butter for breakfast and coffee. Email and writing – I have to do some apartment cleaning this afternoon to get ready for moving on. Got WQXR on the computer and while it cuts out a lot, when it holds it’s very nice.

Another of those “gotcha” moments last night – I was downloading the photos from my camera to the computer, and I realized I didn’t know who a lot of the people were. I know voices, but I’ve never had the chance to associate a lot of them with their faces – and there is really no one to ask. Or very few, since most of the people I know from the LCB are also blind, and they cannot see the picture nor would they know the face. Hmm. (I can hear the odd person reading this saying, “And John, they don’t know what YOU look like either.”)

There is no difference for a blind person between a bright day and an overcast one, except that you can feel the sun, sometimes. At night when I go to bed, the darkness helps me sleep. No difference for someone for whom it is always dark. Although yesterday at Braille, Mr. Whittle and one student were talking about the lights and symbols they “see” in their darkness, and apparently this is especially true for people with RP. And of course, nothing you can do about them – can’t close your eyes and make them go away.

Same guy as last week came by to see if I wanted go to church this evening, since he’s going to Washington tomorrow for the seminar. I said I would pass and either get myself to Aquinas tomorrow morning or say Mass here in the apartment. Listening to Tosca from the Met – but the stream kept cutting out so it was frustrating.

Temp is now up to 70 – around 12:30 and a lovely soft day outside. I have my back door open and I may move a chair outside if it gets any warmer. Had I but brought a cigar with me…. So instead I put on my shades and walked to the school and back, just to see if I could do it. And I did, with minimal difficulty.

CROSSING THE STREET

While it’s fresh in my mind, I thought I would walk you through what is involved in crossing the street from the Center’s main building to the shop building.

To make it simple, let’s assume you have made it to the front door of the inside of the building. You open the door, and switch from pencil grip to rolling hand, so you can have a broader sweep with the cane when you need it. There is a door mat under your feet as you leave, and you listen to the traffic on Trenton Street straight ahead. Trenton is a one-way, three lane street that goes north to south, so it is always a good guide. You head toward the sound of the traffic, paying attention to the texture of the ground with the cane. Here it is brick and you wait for it to turn to the cement of the sidewalk. At the beginning, I would sweep very wide to be sure I would get the gate. Not just to be sure I got through, but also because at the gate you turn right. Once I missed the gate and ended up at the curb.

Turning right (north – we are taught to think in terms of compass points rather than left and right) you proceed to the curb. Again, at the beginning I used to shoreline the wall (shorelining is hitting a curb or wall or other object and walking alongside it). My teacher, though, kept after me to walk in the center of the sidewalk and only shoreline in special circumstances. Shorelining made it easy to know when you got to the end of the wall, and then head for the curb. The problem with that is that you are not lined up at the crosswalk, and if you’re going down the sidewalk you can feel the slight dip when you get the ramp, and if you miss it, the cane tells you when you hit the very different and distinct texture of the street.

Now you’re at the corner, getting ready to cross. First thing – true for any street – listen to the traffic parallel to the direction you are crossing, so you get a sense of the line of the traffic, so you can start in an aligned direction and walk straight to the other side. If you do not know the street, you listen for traffic on the street you will be crossing – is there a light, a stop sign, is it one way either into or out of the road you are walking parallel to – you need to know this information before you set forth. If there is a light, wait until it changes in your favor, so you know you have enough time to get across. If there is anything hindering your ability to hear, wait – trucks, fire engines, in our case trains – anything that stops you from having a clear audio picture needs to be waited out. (In fact, when sirens are in the area, the advice is to simply stop and wait, even if you’re in the middle of a block on the sidewalk. Theyt make so much noise they block many other sounds.)

When you know the patterns around you, and you’re sure you’re aligned, off you go. You walk briskly, with a wide arc on the cane, listening to the traffic so you walk straight. When you get to the other side you will hit a curb, or if you’re really good, you walk right up the ramp. Again, the change in texture of the ground beneath you is usually your best sign.

But you’ve only crossed the street – now to find the shop. The easiest way is to go east (ok students, what way do I turn when I get to the corner? Rightt, that’s correct.) and shoreline the grass, since there is no sidewalk on that side of the street. You will come to a large plastic refuse container (and I mean large, about as tall as I am and significantly larger in girth – don’t say it). At the container, turn north, and you will come to the steps for the shop. Using your cane, find the steps, and go up to the shop door. Tara – you’ve made it. And remember your compass points, because directions within the shop are given that way as well. “Go to the west wall to find the tool cabinet.” “The radial arm saw is in the southeast quadrant” and so on.

                                 There's the door to the shop - and the waste barrel that helps us find it.

When I first arrived, the students taught me on arriving in the bus (which parks just outside the shop door) to find the refuse container and head straight across the street, up on the curb and find the wall, and shoreline down the wall and around the corner until you find the gate. Easy, but the instructors don’t like you crossing in the middle of the block, where cars don’t expect to see you, as opposed to crossing in the sidewalk. Students also have identified a drain pipe along the wall, which is exactly lined up with the refuse container, so going from the center to the shop would involve turning at the corner, shorelining until you hit the drain pipe, and then crossing to the container. That is called landmarking (technical term) and works as long as the landmarks don’t move. Or if you miss them. Better to have a wider technique.

The word you hear a lot at the Center is problem solving. True for cane travel, true for shop, true for home ec – you have situation, one that exists or that you have created – how do you solve it? I’m lost – ok, where was I last when I knew where I was, what do I know about what the environment should be (where should the traffic be, what kind of surface am I on, what should it be) and in travel, the first thing you do when you are lost or encounter an obstacle is stop, listen and think. Be cautious about help from strangers – they are not always reliable. Good intentions, but not always reliable.

I have been told I may keep my cane. And that should add an interesting dimension to travel. Do I pretend to be partially-sighted or just ignore? I suspect I may have problems if people think I don’t need it. But showing a driving license for ID?  It will be an interesting trip.

It's always nice to get back to the Center in one piece.

I skipped going to Mass, had a visitor who needed to talk about an annulment situation, and had something to eat. Worked on different projects – at 6 PM the temp is still 68 – and later made a bag of popcorn.

Sunday, January 30 – Last full day in Louisiana – and they’re talking serious thunderstorms, of course. I awoke at 4 and decided it was time to get up. Did some writing, had something to eat – shower and dressed and said Mass – the day at 8 AM is very grey and when I went outside to listen to the birds for a little (the morning bird chorus is really very impressive) you could feel the moisture in the air. There is a different quality to early morning in a small town than in Manhattan. A different kind of quiet.

The blind driver challenge apparently went very well. Mark Riccobono was the driver, and it was not just going around the track but around obstacles, and even boxes dropped by a van that was going ahead of the car. At one point he even passed the lead van. I guess it was fairly impressive. Interestingly, and completely unrelated, there is practically no on air talk about the Pro Bowl, which takes place tonight. I had to search to find the kickoff time.

It’s raining – pouring, actually – and when you’re blind, you can only go so fast, so you dress differently than someone who can dash through the rain. Rain seems to negatively impact the weak signal I occasionally get so computer use today was especially frustrating. I’m going to ask at the airport in Monroe if they know where the gates are in Atlanta (our arrival and my departure) and if I could perhaps get an electric cart to go from one to another. Hey, I’ll be carrying a white cane, and in Monroe, they should be used to dealing with partially sighted.

I did manage to check in online, using the Blackberry. It rained throughout the day, occasionally with thunder (although I never saw lightning). At several points I opened the door and worked while watching and listening to the rain. Highlight of the afternoon was cooking the pizza and reading while I eat that. It’s a cinnamon toast and tea kind of day, but since I have neither – pizza.

Other activities were cleaning the apartment, throwing things into the trash and trying to think about the last two weeks. I don’t have any deep extraordinary insights – and maybe that’s the key, that  while there are some extraordinary people here (I have seldom been in a place with so much laughter on such a regular basis), what happens here is really very ordinary. And that’s the goal – to teach a blind person that they can do anything an ordinary person can do. Go shopping, take care of themselves, use power tools and cook and unclog a sink or a toilet, read and write and use the Internet – all very ordinary things. One young woman just finished law school – another has already made plans to open a restaurant (she has arranged for financing, found a location, she’s ready to hit the ground if not running at least walking very fast).

Tomorrow morning I will close the suitcase, strip the beds and go to roll call. I’ll visit a class or two, take a couple of more pictures and at 9:30, I am my cane am off to the airport.

Monday, January 31

Last day of the month, last day at the Center. I took the bus down and took some pictures during roll call. Many students away at the Washington seminar. I was given some souvenirs of my time, including some cajun spices, some dirty rice and a Center pen. I visited classrooms, took some pictures and soon enough, my ride to the airport came. It was raining a little, just so I wouldn’t feel bad about leaving. I was carrying a white cane, so I took off my glasses and let people assume I had a vision problem. The Delta staff could not have been nicer, arranged for someone to meet me in Atlanta (even as a sighted person I was worried about making a short connection) and even the TSA folks were good. Of course, I assume, with the Center next door, they have had a lot of practice dealing with blind people coming and going. The flight crew was good, touching me on the arm before they started to speak, making sure before the briefing that I knew where my nearest exit was. I put in earphones and listened to the Kindle.

At Atlanta a nice young man with a wheelchair was ready for me, but they did not push the wheelchair, just indicated it was available if I wanted it. I passed on that, and he walked me to the plane. We got there just as they had started to board, so I and the lady in the wheelchair and the young woman with a very young child were put on ahead of the herd. Again, good crew, gentle flight – I wore shades on the plane, and promptly fell asleep. A nice man offered to carry my bag and walked me to the baggage carousel, helped me get my bag and walked me to the cab. In other words, had I been wearing my shades the whole trip, I would have been ok. Lots of traffic, so the cab ride home took forever, and although I had been listening to the news, I was not fully prepared for the amount of snow on the New York City streets.

Reflection

I’m working on a reflective piece and haven’t gotten there yet. I did say that I had seldom been in a place with so much laughter. There are some truly extraordinary people at the Center, both students and faculty, and they are helping blind people to do absolutely ordinary things. It’s not a show – “Hey, watch the blind guy run a table saw!” – it’s people learning how to do the basic, necessary things in everyday life without using their eyes.

I was made to feel most welcome and there was a part of me that really wanted to stay and do the 9-month course. But I’m not blind, and my call is to be somewhere else, working on other problems with other people. I look forward to the Orlando conference this summer, when I will get to see some of the Louisiana friends again, and I suspect there are some people I met who will continue to be a part of my life. And I rather look forward to that. I will continue to practice my cane travel in New York, and I will continue to work on improving and advancing my Braille.